Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Completely UNbalanced...

Last week was a very difficult week for me...I barely got any sleep all week because my son was teething,  had an earache and would not sleep at night.  Needless to say I was extremely sleep deprived...and I don't do well on no sleep.  Does anyone really?
Hubby, Goober Pie, and I took a road trip yesterday and I tried to sleep on the way-no luck.  I don't like trying to nap and not being able to.  Tried to nap again later in the afternoon to NO AVAIL.  I was really frustrated I could not nap...and more exhausted than ever.  It was like my body was so tired that I could not relax enough to fall alseep. 
So it comes to be Goober Pie's bedtime and he has his bath, nurses to sleep, everything is great (except for my extreme exhaustion) and then, he wakes up.  And he does not want to go back to sleep for 3 hours!!!  Goober Pie is exhausted, tired and getting a cold, but he fought sleep like nobody's business. 
I was already exhausted.  I got more tired, and more frustrated by every minute that ticked by.  Then, I hit an all time low as a parent.  I still feel guilty about it.  My heart aches, I cry.  I had to go put Goober Pie in his exersaucer and walk away.  I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to control my frustration towards him any longer, and I didn't want to do something I'd regret as a parent. As his Mother.( I'm being brutally honest here.) So I came back to bed and cried.  I lay there crying until he got fussy, then I went and got him.  It was a horrible moment for me as a Mom.  I pray it never happens again-but I'm a sinful creature, so I'm sure it will...  I did ask Goober Pie to forgive me, I always do whenever I get frustrated towards him.   Even though he's only 7.5 months it's important to me to ask for his forgiveness.  Thankfully he's always generous and he forgives me.  =0) 
I usually am able to control my frustration better.  But when you've been going on a week with only 4-5 hours of sleep and not restful sleep, the kind of sleep that you wake up every 45 minutes with a fussy baby and it takes you upwards of 30 minutes to get said babe back to sleep, everything runs, not walks, straight out the window.  It was truly horrible.  He was not feeling good, I should have been more understanding and patient with him. 
Goober Pie finally decided that'd he nurse again, so we nursed and he fell asleep.  When he finally lay his sweet little head down to sleep for good, I breathed a sigh of relief and drifted off myself...And thankfully we had a better night's sleep so I woke up feeling better this morning and was able to go about my day in a more balanced way!
So there's my story about how very UNbalanced I was last night!

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