Has not been a good day. At least, most of it hasn't. I feel discouraged, defeated, worthless. All because of a comment made. I'm a simple person. I do not have a great IQ nor do I have a strong mind. I am quite scatter brained and frazzled. I do not communicate well. I stumble over my words. I think too highly if myself but I never live up to those expectations. I am defeated. Broken. But I'm not worthless in the eyes of my Savior. Isn't His the only opinion that really matters? It's His I need to focus on. It's HIM I need to focus on. When I feel defeated and worthless I can count on my Savior to remove my burdens & lift me up. To encourage my feeble & failing mind.
-Originally written November 19, 2011
Showing posts with label Hormones. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hormones. Show all posts
Monday, December 5, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Getting Ready
My poor blog. My poor subscribers! Life has been so crazy that I've all but abandoned writing posts. By the time nap time rolls around I usually decide to nap too. Or when I don't have a toddler, aka Goober Pie crawling all over me trying to press buttons, it's bedtime, and I'm worn out and ready for sleep myself. So here sits my blog, day after day, night after lonely night, waiting on me to come back. Haha. Not that life is going to slow down or anything...at all. I can barely find time to indulge in any of my hobbies or interests the way life is now. I guess that's not completely true...I just don't MAKE the time. Maybe having 2 kids will teach me how to better use my "free" time? We'll see.
So I've been getting ready. Cleaning, organizing, washing, shopping, hanging, purging, nesting, nesting and nesting getting ready to welcome our next child into our lives! Chickpea, as SHE is so lovingly called. Her name is actually Rowan. Rowan Kaye, and she's due March 15. As in 3 weeks from tomorrow. But, if she's anything like Goober Pie, she might decide to come early. (He was 2.5 weeks early, which was fine by me. You'll know why one of these days when I finish his birth story...speaking of which, I need to get on that!)
I'm so excited to have a girl!! Having a boy has been SO FUN. Don't get me wrong. But there's just SO MUCH STUFF for girls! Cute, adorable, makes me want to be a baby again, sort of stuff. The clothes. Oh, the clothes. How fun are they? I'm in love with the stuff!
I can't wait to meet our little girl! What will she look like? Who will she look like? What color will her hair be? And yes, we actually know that she's going to have hair!
I've been under the care of a wonderful midwife group, the UNT Midwife Group and with them, we're planning (Lord Willing) on having a water birth. Which I am very excited about! I've always wanted a water birth, and am so thankful to have the opportunity to have one! We are planning on delivering at a local hospital. Their tubs are nice-we went and looked! Anyways, back to the knowing Chickpea has hair. I've been measuring behind by 2-3 weeks my whole pregnancy, so out of a let's get things checked out, we don't think there's anything wrong situation, I was sent to a Perinatologist to have a sonogram done to make sure Chickpea's growth was on track. It is. She's just fine. I'm just a carrier of small babies. But anyways, they could tell in the sonogram that she's going to have hair! Fun stuff!
At this point, as I type this, I'm hours from being 37 weeks pregnant, and I'm so ready to have this baby and meet my daughter! My hormones have been raging out of control my whole pregnancy, but man oh man, they have been SO BAD lately. My husband is so long suffering with me. I know I must be irritating him to no end, but he seems to take it in stride and often makes jokes about how cranky I am. A good man I have as I spouse, let me tell you!
Goober Pie is very aware that I'm pregnant. He's aware that I have a baby in my belly. "RoRo" as he so lovingly and sweetly calls his sister. I'm endlessly praying that he adjusts to being a big brother well. We are dealing with MAJOR attitude problems with him. His depraved, sinful nature is just rearing it's ugly head. Breaks my heart how he is acting. Discourages me. Frustrates me to no end. He is constantly NOT obeying a word I say, and he is dealing with his own anger and the only way he knows how to express it is through hitting. Which he does all day everyday. He hits me, the couch, the floor, the fridge, the dog, the cat. It doesn't matter, if it's within his range and his will is being thwarted, or sometimes even when it's not, he hits. We've been working with him and trying to be as consistent as we can in our disciplining. I've also been telling him and instructing him that when he gets mad and wants to hit, to pray. I've been saying simple prayers, and having him repeat what he can. It seems to help. Until five minutes later he hits again...
Pray for me, will you? And for our family as we make this transition into becoming a family of 4. Parents of 2. We need all the prayers and help we can get!
So I've been getting ready. Cleaning, organizing, washing, shopping, hanging, purging, nesting, nesting and nesting getting ready to welcome our next child into our lives! Chickpea, as SHE is so lovingly called. Her name is actually Rowan. Rowan Kaye, and she's due March 15. As in 3 weeks from tomorrow. But, if she's anything like Goober Pie, she might decide to come early. (He was 2.5 weeks early, which was fine by me. You'll know why one of these days when I finish his birth story...speaking of which, I need to get on that!)
I'm so excited to have a girl!! Having a boy has been SO FUN. Don't get me wrong. But there's just SO MUCH STUFF for girls! Cute, adorable, makes me want to be a baby again, sort of stuff. The clothes. Oh, the clothes. How fun are they? I'm in love with the stuff!
I can't wait to meet our little girl! What will she look like? Who will she look like? What color will her hair be? And yes, we actually know that she's going to have hair!
I've been under the care of a wonderful midwife group, the UNT Midwife Group and with them, we're planning (Lord Willing) on having a water birth. Which I am very excited about! I've always wanted a water birth, and am so thankful to have the opportunity to have one! We are planning on delivering at a local hospital. Their tubs are nice-we went and looked! Anyways, back to the knowing Chickpea has hair. I've been measuring behind by 2-3 weeks my whole pregnancy, so out of a let's get things checked out, we don't think there's anything wrong situation, I was sent to a Perinatologist to have a sonogram done to make sure Chickpea's growth was on track. It is. She's just fine. I'm just a carrier of small babies. But anyways, they could tell in the sonogram that she's going to have hair! Fun stuff!
At this point, as I type this, I'm hours from being 37 weeks pregnant, and I'm so ready to have this baby and meet my daughter! My hormones have been raging out of control my whole pregnancy, but man oh man, they have been SO BAD lately. My husband is so long suffering with me. I know I must be irritating him to no end, but he seems to take it in stride and often makes jokes about how cranky I am. A good man I have as I spouse, let me tell you!
Goober Pie is very aware that I'm pregnant. He's aware that I have a baby in my belly. "RoRo" as he so lovingly and sweetly calls his sister. I'm endlessly praying that he adjusts to being a big brother well. We are dealing with MAJOR attitude problems with him. His depraved, sinful nature is just rearing it's ugly head. Breaks my heart how he is acting. Discourages me. Frustrates me to no end. He is constantly NOT obeying a word I say, and he is dealing with his own anger and the only way he knows how to express it is through hitting. Which he does all day everyday. He hits me, the couch, the floor, the fridge, the dog, the cat. It doesn't matter, if it's within his range and his will is being thwarted, or sometimes even when it's not, he hits. We've been working with him and trying to be as consistent as we can in our disciplining. I've also been telling him and instructing him that when he gets mad and wants to hit, to pray. I've been saying simple prayers, and having him repeat what he can. It seems to help. Until five minutes later he hits again...
Pray for me, will you? And for our family as we make this transition into becoming a family of 4. Parents of 2. We need all the prayers and help we can get!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Emotional Day from Hell...
The title pretty much sums it up. I have been so cranky and hormonal all day long. It has been horrible. Beyond horrible. My poor hubby, he has had to suffer my crazy crankiness. Why is it so much easier to hurt the ones we love? Why do I find it so easy to snap my sweet husband's head off rather than respond lovingly? What's wrong with me? Why do I feel this way? And why am I not doing a better job controlling my emotions/hormones/crankiness lately?
I think it's easier to hurt those we love because it's just that-we love them. They are close to us, therefore they are easy targets. It shouldn't be like that...
Along with my crazy hormones and shortness, I've also been suffering from "don'ttouchme-itis" which doesn't work out too well when you're trying to have a date day with your one and only. *Sigh*
I have had to repeatedly ask for my husband's forgiveness today.
Now I need to ask for God's forgiveness too. (This should have happened first!! DUH to me. Where was my faith, today? Why was I not focusing on God? He could've helped me!!)
And go to bed.
And pray that tomorrow is better. That God will give me the will power to not be sensitive, cranky, hormonal, short, angry and have "don'ttouchme-itis" tomorrow.
I want this day to be over.
I need this day to be over.
I need my normal self to return (and so does my husband, God love him!).
That's all.
Goodnight, day from hell. Go away. You're not invited back tomorrow...or EVER.
Take that, hormones!
The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, And He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; For the Lord upholds him with His hand. (Ps 37.23-24)
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. (1 Cor 10.13)
God said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor 12.9-10)
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor 12.9-10)
So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough worries of its own. (Matthew 6:34) -One of my all time FAVORITE verses!
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