The Saga Continues...

Remember when I wrote about Rowan's seizure? She had all the tests done and everything came back pretty normal except for two things: the right ventricle of her brain is larger than the left. Our neurologist is not concerned about it and the tests showed that there is no damage in the brain. And she has an "under classified" Chiari Malformation. It is supposedly "under classified" because it does not quite meet the measurements for a type 1 Malformation. It is about 5mm off from qualifying. 

Anyways, we were told all is fine but call or come back if you have any questions or if this keeps happening.

It has kept happening. Rowan has fallen a handful of times, the majority being that she hit the back of her head, and has had a seizure or seizure like reaction. It. Is. SCARY. She passes out. She stops breathing (I think). She is limp and unresponsive. Sometimes she convulses. Sometimes her lips are pasty and blue. It only lasts a short while-seconds to a couple of minutes, but it is the scariest thing Joseph (DH) and I have ever dealt with. Since it has kept happening we decided it best to take her back to her PCP who referred us back to the neurologist we had seen before. He also thinks she could have some soft of seizure disorder. He encouraged Joseph and I to document and possibly record these episodes, take a CPR course and to take cookies and introduce ourselves, but especially Rowan, to our local fire station and the paramedics there, so if they ever need to come to our house because of her again, they'll have an impression made. 

We go see the neurologist tomorrow morning. Please be in prayer for us. I want some answers. I want to know why it happens and how we can stop it happening in the future. It complicates life. It's scary. 

Medical stuff makes me nervous... I just need to make it a matter of prayer and trust God in this matter. Lay it all out before Him. He knows. 

That's all for now. (0=  

Life Is Good

Life is good, bust insanely busy. I haven't been able to keep up with this blog. At all. But I'm hoping I can start up again...

Quick update:

Rowan (Chickpea) is 2.5! Already. Where does time go? She's coming more alive to her silly, crazy, cute, sweet, mischievous personality everyday.

Kirby (Goober Pie) is getting bigger and smarter each day. You can carry on a conversation with him. He's like a mini adult. He acts like one, too. He is still very mischevious & is always keeping me on my toes!!

And on February 8, 2013, we were blessed to add another member to our family! Jodin Daniel Columbus joined us. He's six months old already and is HUGE. Oh, and he's a super laid back, sweet eyed boy that we all love.

We also bought a house. It's absolutely perfect for us and has lots of room and lots of potential!
Dh is still in school getting a degree in animation. He'll be done (THANK GOD!!!) in March 2014.

A lot is the same. A lot is different.


I'll work on keeping the blog up to speed on what's going on in life... (0=

Ta-Ta!

Scary Happenings

For those of you wondering and curious about what happened to Rowan; here is the story. 

It was about 4:20pm on Monday. I've been watching my friend Jessica's little boy, Hunter, while she starts a new job, and it gets pretty crazy here with three little ones under the age of 3 running around. I was back in my room getting some laundry to wash, and didn't want all the kids back there playing. Once I had the clothes I needed in my arms, I told Kirby, who had followed me back there, to come out. He broke into a full out run in our very short hallway. Rowan had proceeded down the hallway in an effort to follow us, and Kirby slammed into her, knocking her flat on her back. I saw the expression on his face-he hadn't even seen her. As I was telling him that he needed to be careful and ALWAYS watch where he was going and watch out for Rowan, I heard her cry for a split second then stop. I went and picked her up and her body was stiff and she wasn't breathing. I thought she had gotten the breath knocked out of her. I was gently patting her back & telling her it was OK and to breathe. I put the laundry down on the washer, and as I did so, Rowan's eyes crossed, she arched her back, and then her eyes rolled into the back of her head. She started making choking sounds and out came a couple of pieces of the dried pineapple she had been snacking on. Thinking she might still have some lodged in her throat, I put her in position head down on the floor and started doing the baby Heimlich on her. She wasn't responsive at all, nor could I tell that she was breathing. I remembered that our next door neighbor was some kind of nurse so I ushered the boys outside and I was holding on to Rowan screaming at her to breathe. Panic was setting in. No answer to my knocking on the door, so back inside we all went. I knew I was going to have to call 911. I was still screaming at Rowan to breathe. In the moments before I dialed 911, all I could think about was my dear friend, Christi's friend Kate, whose 14 month old choked to death on a pretzel he ate everyday. I just knew Rowan was going to die. I was going to lose her. Rowan started having a seizure. She was on her side, eyes barely open, unresponsive, convulsing, foaming at the mouth. I pulled out my phone, dialed 911, and lost it. I told them where to come. Dispatch made me stay on the line and was asking me questions. The lady asked me if she was breathing. I could not tell and told her so. I was sobbing. I didn't even think of looking at her chest to see if it was rising or falling or putting my ear to hear mouth. You know, those normal things you do to see if a person is breathing. I was almost paralyzed. I knew she was going to die. IT. WAS. HORRIBLE. I don't think I've ever felt so helpless my entire life... Rowan coughed a little and she said if that was her coughing, she's breathing and that's a good sign. I say OK, all the while willing my daughter to breathe and hang on to life. Kirby and Hunter were so concerned and so kind. They kept bringing me toilet paper, telling me to blow my nose. I kept telling them how serious this was. We live RIGHT down the street from both the fire station & the police station. The ambulance and police officer were here within a minute. Rowan had stopped convulsing and was coming out of it, crying. I let the paramedics in while trying to keep the curious boys inside. The paramedics checked Rowan's vital signs which were good. I gave my report to the sweet lady officer who had come. Rowan was pretty unresponsive until the paramedics shone a flashlight in her eyes to check them. She then proceeded to start screaming & crying. The paramedics told me that Rowan was fine, but that she needed to be taken to the hospital for a follow up because of the seizure, since she had no signs or symptoms which could have triggered the seizure. Her vitals were perfect and she had no knots on her head. I chose to transport her myself thinking that if she was fine, I could take her for free, opposed to if they transported her in the ambulance, it'd be who knows how much.  Rowan was still screaming and crying. The paramedics told me to not be surprised if she slept for awhile. They said no matter the age, a seizure takes a lot out of a person and she'd be sleepy. As the ambulance drove away,I tried calling Hunter's Mom, but wasn't able to get through. I then proceeded to call my Dad, who thankfully was home (and lives right down the street from us as well) and tell him that I had an emergency situation and that I needed him to come watch the boys for me. I then called Joseph and briefly explained to him what was going on. Rowan was still screaming & crying so it was difficult for me to hear and to be heard. My Dad arrived, sans shoes, and I proceeded to tell him a little bit about what was going on, and the food I had in the oven, etc. Rowan finally stopped screaming and crying and went to sleep. I got her loaded in the car and realized I was going to have to stop for gas to be able to make it to the hospital. After I got some gas, I saw my husband sitting at the light by the gas station & called asking him why he was there. He said he was going to come home to meet me and ride to the hospital with us, but I had already left. I thought that he had said he was going to meet me at the hospital. Misheard him over Rowan's screams... I went and got him and then we headed to Cook Children's Hospital downtown. We didn't have to wait long to get a room. Meanwhile, my sister was with Kirby, Hunter and my Dad, and my Ma was out in the waiting room at Cook's with us. The nurse came in and checked Rowan out and said she was bumping her level up (trauma level, I assume) so that we could see the Dr sooner and get into CT sooner. Rowan nursed & fell asleep while we waited for the Dr. The Dr. came in a little while later and examined Rowan and said she had ordered a CT and we'd be taken back as soon as they were ready. Rowan fell asleep again. My Ma had offered to get Joseph and I some coffee from Starbucks while we waited and so I had sent Joseph out to get the coffee and my Ma came back to the room. We talked for a few minutes, me telling her how scary the situation had been, us both crying, until a tech interrupted us to take Rowan and I for her CT. I had to lay her on a table on her back and they proceeded to bind her up/restrain her so she wouldn't fall off the table. I was able to stay in the room and had a X-ray vest to wear. Rowan was very upset, quickly reaching the point of hysteria. They needed her completely still in order to get a good scan. The CT was only supposed to last about a minute if we could just get her to calm down. We tried everything. Toys. iPhone TV. Singing. Sugar water (which made her SUPER angry). Distraction of every sort. I tried going out of her vision range. All to no avail. She was not going to be happy unless she was in my arms. Needless to say, they did not get a clear CT scan, but said they'd see if they got anything usable. Once in my arms Rowan calmed down, but it took a good 20 minutes for her to completely calm down. She nursed and then went back to sleep. We waited. And waited. And waited. We asked the nurse what was going on, if she knew anything, and she checked and said the Dr was trying to figure out what she wanted to do. She and the tech that took us to CT came back and measured Rowan's head. More waiting  I finally was able to go get some dinner from the cafeteria with my Ma while Joseph held Rowan. She was still asleep. I was very anxious and antsy while we ate our bunless hamburgers and fries. I wanted to get back. I felt guilty for leaving Rowan. We headed back and I received a text from Joseph asking me to come back when I was a few doors down from Rowan's room. Rowan was up and the nurse was checking her vitals. Joseph said the Dr had been in and she'd be back to explain, but Rowan's CT results were abnormal and she had some swelling in her brain. I started crying. The Dr came in and proceeded to explain to us that the ventricles and the white matter in Rowan's brain were not large, but they were not normal size, either. They both have to do with the neurological part of the brain.  Our Dr consulted with the neurologist on call and he said he wasn't worried about it being slightly enlarged. It was not an emergency situation, but we did need to follow up with an MRI & EEG to get it checked out. We were discharged from the hospital about 9:40pm with instructions to follow up with Rowan's PCP and get her other tests scheduled. She had slept most of the time at the hospital away and was sleepy on the way to my parents house. As we walked inside to get Kirby, Rowan spotted my parents cat and perked right up, quickly returning to her normal self. She was able to interact and visit with her GiGi & Auntie Chelle. 
When we all got home and I was packing Kirby up to go to his Ginny's, Rowan was walking around, talking and playing like her normal self. We thankfully got a good night's sleep with no further occurrences. 
We followed up with Rowan's pediatrician the following day. He said she looked great but he definitely thought since she had a seizure that the next practical steps were an MRI (sedated-which I didn't know the sedated part until he mentioned it. Makes sense since she was hysterical in CT. Still scary to me, though.), an EEG, and blood work. He thinks that there's very little possibility anything is wrong with her. He thinks her seizure was probably caused by her falling and hitting her head. Her abnormal CT results could be attributed to the fact that she was not still but moving. 
Her MRI is scheduled for this Friday, May 25, the EEG June 6 and we can get the blood work done anytime. She will then follow up with a parter of the neurologist that saw her scans in the ER June 18. 
She's acting completely normal, her sweet, crazy self. No apparent signs that anything happened. Other than me freaking out every time she does anything she could get hurt from. (0= I guess that's a Mother's job, right? 
If Rowan should have another seizure we'd have to take her back to the ER. I'm hoping and praying that doesn't happen. It's a scary experience watching your child suffer while being completely helpless to stop it. 
Now we are waiting for her appointments and watching her to make sure nothing else happens. 
And I'm trusting God that He is keeping her in His hands, just exactly like she's supposed to be. 

We've received an outpouring of love, prayers and support from our family and friends and I just want to say thank you to each and every person! Your support means the world to our family and the prayers sustain us. 

Glamorous Parenting

Sometimes parenting isn't as glamorous as it may seem. You have bad days. You are dealing with another sinful human. A little one. One whom it is your duty to raise and teach right from wrong and when they're in the wrong, to lovingly correct them and set them right again. Today has been a not so glamorous day. Goober Pie seems to be in a phase where he literally almost hates me. He hates my instruction, he won't listen to it. He sometimes hates me as a person and lashes out, hitting, screaming, kicking, pushing, pulling my hair and scratching me. He hates that my attention is sometimes given to Chickpea, his sister. He hates if my attention is given to my phone. Which I've been staying off of as much as possible the last few days to avoid any attention getters that are not so nice. Not only can he not be nice to me, but he can't be nice to his sister, either. Constantly doing something mean to her. And the dog. And the cat. The only person he's not mean to? His Daddy. Thank God for his Daddy. He keeps him straight. And when I'm at my literal wit's end with Goober Pie, Daddy steps in and saves the day. He can with just a few words make him obey. While I tried all afternoon. It's totally not fair, but it is what it is. I'm constantly praying for me to have patience in dealing with Goober Pie, and for his behavior towards me to change. I also have him pray. I'm praying that this is just a phase. He is teething, and teething tends to make a monster come out of him. I'm also trying to get on his level, and have screen free time spent with him either reading, playing with his toys, or doing something else constructive. Overall my feelings are hurt. What?! By a 2.5 year old. Yep. It's the truth. I want him to want to be nice to me. I want to see that he can behave. I want to see that he can be calm and nice in his home, with his family. Other people tell me that's he's well behaved when he's with them. Why do I get all the brunt of the bad behavior? I'm at my wit's end. Today was hard. Parenting is not glamorous when you're raising depraved children and you yourself are depraved! But I'm going to keep on keeping on, going to keep praying, and keep training up my son in the way he should be brought up according to God's Word. And I'm going to hold on to the tiny shred of hope that one day, he will respect me. He will respect my instruction and teaching. He will show me kindness. He will be the sweet little boy that I know that he can be. And he CAN be sweet. Interspersed in all this crazy behavior, he's giving me hugs, kisses, and telling me that he loves me. He shares with Chickpea, gives her hugs, kisses, and her paci, makes her laugh.
In the end I know that this is just a phase, and that he's never a lost cause and that the endless effort, tears, frustrations & prayers I put into parenting Goober Pie WILL pay off.

Grandmother

Her eyes open, I watched as she peacefully passed Sunday, September 11, 2011. She was the second Grandparent I've lost. I'm glad I was there. It's hard seeing ones you love die, but so nice knowing (if they are saved by grace) that they are going to the Place where they're meant to be. Heaven. Where they'll sit at the feet of the Heavenly Father worshipping Him all day long. In a perfected body with no pain! I'm glad I was there. 
We knew Grandmother was ill. She had been for a couple of months. Then she started acting strange. She took a fall. We were told after tests came back negative that it was just a progression of her Alzheimer's. Then, on Wednesday, the sisters (my Ma & her sisters, my Aunts) took her to the er. Come to find out she had an intestinal blockage. Which she wasn't a candidate for surgery because 1-her mental condition and 2- her advanced directive in her Living Will. You see, she and my Grandfather have made all their medical decisions and decisions about the end of their life already. Their bodies are already willed to the research program at UT Southwestern. They decided this years ago. I greatly admire them for this. I hope to do the same for my family. When the end of life comes, the decisions about how to care for them and whether or not to put them on a feeding tube or have a surgery has been made. And the family can rest well knowing they're following the wishes of their loved one. 
They gave her a week to live and she came home on Friday night under the care of Hospice.  She hadn't been doing well, in fact she had taken a turn for the worse. Saturday came and she was near the end. So sudden, so soon, so quick. The kids and I were visiting family in Oklahoma with my Mother-in-Law when I got news that my Grandmother would be passing anytime. All were with her but the kids and I, holding hands around her, praying and reading Scripture. We immediately came home and went straight to the apartment. She was sleeping. Never to be woken again. I spent the afternoon and evening at my grandparents apartment. Visiting with family, holding my Grandmother's beautifully manicured hand. Learning all the little details I had missed not being in town. I went home that night & slept. I had to. I couldn't stay up there. I have a baby who needs sleep. I've been gone all week. My husband needed me. My husband, daughter and I went up to my Grandparents apartment the next morning. Again visiting with family. Praying. She was still sleeping. Having bouts of sleep apnea. Then the change came. We were told to come. To be quiet. Her eyes were open. But they saw not. What was she looking at? What did she see? Was it the glorious light of Heaven welcoming her? We watched as she breathed her last. We grieved. After a couple of hours her body was retrieved by the medical personnel from the place where she would go. I remember thinking "This is the last time I'll ever see her!" I Immediately corrected myself; her earthly body, yes. But I'd see her once again. In Heaven. When my time comes I'll see her again! What a comfort! How sweet it is to know she's made whole again in Heaven with her Lord! 
The following Tuesday we had a private family memorial service for her. 
I will always remember her and love her. She loved books. I used to sit with her in her recliner reading book after book for as long as we both fit. She loved working crossword puzzles. Classical music was always on at her house. She loved her cats. She loved chocolate. She loved staying up late and watching M*A*S*H. She loved birds and bird watching. She loved gardening and flowers. She loved dogs. She loved children. She loved my children. She made funny sounds and faces at them. She kissed our birthday and Christmas cards. She loved the color blue. She loved ballet type slippers. She loved the outdoors. She let us play on her piano & helped teach us songs. Christmas mornings with Breakfast of SOS and dinner with sandwiches. She was a sweet woman. A wonderful Mother and Grandmother who raised 4 beautiful daughters and has 4 granddaughters, 1 grandson, and 7 great grandchildren! 
Her legacy is one of beauty. 
Patricia Anne Freeman. Born October 10, 19 Died September 11, 2011.  Married 61 years to her loving husband, who cared for her all her life. Even when she was on her deathbed he made sure she had enough covers. 
Remembered by all with great love! 


-Originally written November 26, 2011. I hesitated publishing this because I tend to be a pretty private person, but I think I need to. And you need to read it. 

Today

Has not been a good day. At least, most of it hasn't. I feel discouraged, defeated, worthless. All because of a comment made. I'm a simple person. I do not have a great IQ nor do I have a strong mind. I am quite scatter brained and frazzled. I do not communicate well. I stumble over my words. I think too highly if myself but I never live up to those expectations. I am defeated. Broken. But I'm not worthless in the eyes of my Savior. Isn't His the only opinion that really matters? It's His I need to focus on. It's HIM I need to focus on. When I feel defeated and worthless I can count on my Savior to remove my burdens & lift me up. To encourage my feeble & failing mind. 


-Originally written November 19, 2011

Another Love

Cold sheets. I love crawling into bed with the sheets cold & snuggling under the covers with just my nose & eyes peeking out. It means that Fall is here. And I LOVE Fall. 


-Originally written October 30, 2011

The Facts

I have a finger-sucking', blankie-loving son. 
I have a paci-loving, needing-to-always-be-held daughter. 
Each unique in the way they're comforted. 
One common comfort they do share is breastfeeding. 


-Originally written October 18, 2011

Favorite Sound 2

Another all-time favorite sound?
The sound of the train blowing it's horn on a crisp, cool morning or chilly night. I've heard it my entire life. It's very comforting. Relaxing.


-Originally written October 18, 2011

The Lonely Monster

Lately I've been getting visits. Not the kind of visits with a dear friend that my heart yearns for. No-these visits are from the Lonely Monster. You know, that Lonely Monster? Maybe you don't, but I sure do. I used to have lots of friends, and we hung out all the time. Now I have very few friends, and we're all so busy that we barely see each other. Oh and my really great, truly stick-with-you-through-anything-friends? We talk almost daily. They're my sisters that I just never had. 
It makes me sad to be visited by the Lonely Monster. I don't understand why. Like I don't understand why some people say they want to be your friend but they never call or get together with you. (Preaching to the choir here!) Do I take initiative and call them? If they wanted really truly to be my friend wouldn't they make an effort? So do I not call and just whine about it? What have I done wrong to make all these people I long to be friends with not want to be friends with me? Where did this Lonely Monster come from, and why now? What can I do to make him go away?! I need him to go away. Desperately. I'm tired of being lonely. I'm tired of guessing why people don't want to be my friend. It makes no sense to me! Please-what have I done? And it's totally wrong of me to be a tad jealous when other people hang out with the ones I want to be friends with. I'm praying about this. I want and I need God to make me content with where I am in life in regards to friends. I'm tired of this Lonely Monster in my life. Always telling me everyone's too busy or I or my kids aren't good enough for them to be friends with. I need God's peace. 
Maybe I have done this to myself? Maybe I've cut myself off? Maybe I don't try hard enough to get together with people I want to be friends with. Maybe I need to put myself out there. 
How and where do I go from here?
What makes the Lonely Monster go away for good? 
I know I'm good at hiding this. I know I may not seem like a girl that needs friends, but I do. 
I'm lonely. 




-Originally written September 23, 2011

Sweet 'N Spicy Sweet Potato Chunks

I made these awesome Sweet Potato Chunks (equivalent to sweet potato fries) the other night with dinner.  My hubs wasn't interested in them. I ate them ALL...No, not all in one night, but over the period of about 4 meals...Yeah. They're THAT good!

Sweet 'N Spicy Sweet Potato Chunks

• As many peeled, cubed sweet potato's as you'd like (I used 4 and 1 regular redskin potato, feel free to add as many other potatoes as you wish!)
• Enough Coconut Oil to coat all your potatoes 
• Sea Salt
• Fresh Ground Black Pepper
• Couple dashes of Ground Red Cayenne Pepper
• 2 Tbsp Organic Cane Sugar (1 Tbsp when tossing, 1 Tbsp after you lay the potatoes out)
• Toss the potatoes really good to mix up and distribute everything
• Spread on some sort of baking sheet or Stonewear piece

Bake at 350 for 20 minutes or until the edges start getting crispy and they look done.

EAT. ENJOY.  

Guest Post

Hi All!

I recently did a guest blog post for a sweet friend, Beka I've only ever met through Blogging & Facebook. I really like her! (0= She's a child of God, cute, real, honest, crafty, talented, creative, etc etc...

Please go read my post here and be sure to check out the rest of her blog!

Deep Belly Laughs

Favorite Sound?

Daddy induced belly laughs from my toddler as they play around.

Daddy induced belly giggles from my sweet little girl as he playfully gobbles her belly up.

Oh, how it really makes my <3 melt.

Goober Pie's Birth Day Story

Goober Pie was due on July 4th, 2009.
Contractions started at 4am on Tuesday, June 16, 2009.  They were ten minutes apart for four hours.  I was trying to sleep and remember tossing and turning and being aware that I was in some sort of pain every ten minutes. Then, it dawned on me...I was having contractions! My husband was up early for work so I excitedly told him what was going on. I had an OB appointment that morning at 10am. He told me to go back to bed and try to get some rest and he'd see me at the OB's where we could check my progress. By 9am, the contractions stopped. Not altogether. I still had maybe one per hour. So I got up, showered, and went along to my OB appointment. My Dr. was out delivering a baby. We waited and waited to see if she was going to make it in, but she never did. So we ended up seeing one of her nurse fill-ins from the hospital. I told her about the contractions and she said she would do a pelvic exam to see if I had made any progress.  I'd heard about this great trick to prevent you from feeling discomfort when they check you. I balled my fist up and put it under my hips. The nurse said that was a great idea. IT DIDN'T WORK. I experienced close to the WORST pain EVER IN MY LIFE when I got checked. I was crying, tears streaming down my face. I wanted to scream, but think I refrained. She said I was about 1 centimeter dilated and about 60% effaced. She explained the reason it hurt so bad was that the baby's head was still in front of my cervix, so she had to reach way far back into my vagina to even FIND my cervix. It was not something I wanted to repeat. The nurse told me that labor might have started but probably not and just to go home and when and if contractions started come to the hospital when they were 5-7 minutes apart.  
I was seriously bummed I hadn't gotten to see my OB. This was the second appointment in a row that she was delivering babies and I hadn't seen her. See, we loved my OB. She was the nicest, sweetest, most gentle lady. And she fully supported us in our desire to have a natural birth. She was perfect for us. 
So, back home I went with strict instructions from my husband to rest. HA. I went home. I did dishes. I ran the dishwasher. I did laundry. And I desperately searched the web and ordered a co-sleeper and other such things we didn't have and I had a feeling we were going to need.  Needless to say-I didn't rest. I was still having about a contraction an hour. Nothing major. Maybe two if I was lucky. I was in FULL nesting mode.
And then, like clock work, contractions started coming every 10 minutes at 5pm. We ate dinner. I don't even remember what we had. Something I had cooked in the crock pot... All I remember is eating through the contractions. We watched The Shield. All the while I was contracting every 10 minutes, breathing through them, trying my hardest to relax. We finally decided to go to bed. I think it was around 11pm. We had to get some sleep. I however, found it impossible to sleep as I was contracting every 10 minutes still. So I just contracted. Until around 2:30, when the contractions started getting more and more intense. I was having double peaking contractions, and they were coming around every 7-10 minutes. I woke my husband up and told him what was going on. I asked him to call our OB to see what she wanted us to do. I frantically ran around (if you can frantically run around while having intense contractions...) packing the hospital bag of the few last minute items. All the while having to stop, bend over something, and breathe through the ever intensifying contractions.  She told us to go ahead and go to Labor & Delivery at the hospital. So away we went.   
The nurse that was checking us in wasn't very pleasant, and when I told her I wasn't due until July 4th, two and a half weeks away, she asked if I was there to get them to stop my labor. I made it very clear that NO, we were NOT there to get my labor stopped. I was admitted and had one more vagina exam, which was just as painful, if not more, than my first one. After being there about for and a half hours, my OB came to see me and since I hadn't made much progress, and told me I could either stay at the hospital and my progress could be monitored, or I could go home. I chose to go home. We were all hungry, so my Mother-in-law stopped at McDonald's and got us breakfast. My Mom had been at the hospital with us during the middle of the night, and she decided to go home and get some rest. My husband had a meeting with his work that morning, so he left to go to it. My Mother-in-law stayed with me as I laid on the couch breathing through the contractions. She was timing them for me-and I was so thankful for that as I was trying to focus on breathing! My husband came home from his meeting and went straight to bed as he was tired from being up all night. I was seriously disappointed, I really wanted him to be there comforting me and helping me labor. I completely understood his desire and great need for sleep though. I decided I wanted to try and take a shower, but was in a position where I needed to be "monitored" since I was in labor. The warm water made the contractions so much more bearable. They made them come faster, too. Every three minutes. My Mother-in-law started freaking out and politely informed me that I needed to wrap up my shower and get out since my contractions were so close together. I grudgingly agreed. I liked the warm water.  It made the contractions bearable. But, I got out. Before my shower, my hair was straight. My makeup was done. After my shower, my hair was a mess because I had to get dressed and go straight back to the couch to labor. Oh well. When you've been in labor for over 24 hours you really don't care too much about how perfect your hair is. With the contractions coming closer together, I finally lost my mucus plug. We decided it was then time to head to the hospital, since my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart. I was already having doubts about if I would be able to continue along without an epidural. My husband and I had attended natural birthing classes, the Bradley method, to be exact. We had a birth plan. We wanted a natural birth. If we needed a c section or epidural we decided we would get one. But I was determined not to have an epidural! My husband spoke very reassuring words to me on the way to the hospital. He was very comforting. He also hit EVERY. BUMP. In. The. Road. Or so it seemed to the lady in labor: ME. (We laugh about it today.) Once we got to the hospital they admitted me and I was checked again. I was at a 5 and fully effaced! That gave me the strength to go own and know that I didn't need an epidural! I could have my natural birth! Slowly but surely my family started arriving at the hospital. My Ma, sister and Dad. When my Dad came in the room, he saw me, saw the "pain" I was in, and gave me a hug and kiss and quickly left. He couldn't stand to see his little girl in pain. Once they had a room for me, the nurse asked if I'd like to walk. I said yes, and very slowly, very painfully, walked to my L&D room. I had to stop several times on the way as walking greatly intensified my already intense contractions. I made finally made it! I remember my good friend Jess was there. She was due a mere three months after me and was interested in seeing how I was handling the pain since she wanted to have a natural birth as well.  She got to see me handle it. Ha ha. And get up and go to the bathroom while the contractions made that very painful. I didn't ever want to get off the toilet once I was on-but I did. I continued laboring, all day long. My birth team was my husband, Mother-in-law, Ma, and sister. I had intense back labor with every contraction. Try as he might, my dear husband could just not massage my back right when I was in labor. My Ma, having been in my position 20+ years ago, knew EXACTLY where to massage. So, with each contraction, she massaged. Bless her. My husband also held my hand with each contraction I had. He said he thought I was going to break his hand/arm, but he endured the pain for me! My L&D nurse was very impressed with how calmly I was handling my laboring pains not having an epidural. She herself was pregnant. I apparently impressed and inspired a lot of the pregnant L&D nurses to have a natural birth!
I labored from about 10am enduring contraction after contraction and breathing through them like I learned how to do in our Bradley Method birthing classes until delivery. I envisioned myself like a leaf floating down a calm river at times. I listened to my family talk. I labored in the bed, getting up to pee when I needed to. Turning over when I needed to. We waited and waited and waited for my water to break. I reached 9.5 cm in dilation and my water STILL hadn't broken. I was now getting the "need to poop" urge. My body was telling me I was ready to push. But, my OB wasn't there and my water still hadn't broken. So I continued laboring for about 4 hours. It was torture. By the time my OB closed her office across the street from the hospital and came to see me to deliver, I WAS READY. I was ready to have her break my water, I was ready to have my baby, I was SO hungry, I was ready to eat!!! Let's get this show on the road and have this baby!
I was so exhausted from a full 25 hours of laboring that I could not hold my own legs up in the traditional, delivering-on-the-hospital-bed birthing position. My Ma held one leg, my Mother-in-law held the other. My husband helped support my back and shoulders. And so I pushed. I had to learn how. They had to teach me. I barely crowned, but in the moment they saw the top of his head, it was said that he looked like he had blonde hair. Blonde hair? My husband and I both had dark hair, but my Ma is blonde, so, it is possible. My OB started getting her garb on a few minutes before I delivered saying she thought that once he came, he was going to come fast. I pushed for about 45 minutes until out he popped! Literally! I was so excited! I started sobbing. My Ma, MIL, and husband were all sobbing! Kirby Gifford Columbus, born Wednesday, June 17th at 6:42 pm weighing in at 6 lbs. 10 oz. and 20 in. long. He had sucked in some amniotic fluid and was aspirating and having trouble breathing. The nurses were working with him while I was delivering my placenta and being sewn up. I had tore to a third degree. Not the worst kind of tear. But close to it. My husband was quite traumatized seeing my tear and getting me stitched up. I was ok, though, and not in any pain.
After Kirby was cleaned up it was decided that he needed to go up to the NICU since he was breathing so fast. They let everyone come in and see him and me try to breastfeed. He wasn't interested in latching on. I remember the first time I held him. Love at first sight. His big, beautiful, dark blue eyes were staring up at me. He knew me. It was amazing. The rush of happiness, love, joy, and pure elation you experience is hard to put into words! I looked over him, his tiny hands and feet, all 10 fingers and toes there. He had dark hair. And then I stumbled across a body part that had been kicking me for the last few months. It was his knee. It was so cool to know what part of him I had been feeling the past few months!
Off to the NICU they took him, only to have him return a few minutes later! The moment they reached the NICU level, Kirby started breathing normally and he was able to return to us! I was also finally able to eat! I think I had a ham croissant sandwich and chips and I had OJ! OJ is great for replenishing sugars and other things you need after delivery. It's a Bradley Method tradition to have OJ after delivery.
He was whisked off to the nursery for a bath and testing while I was taken to my room. Everyone was hungry so we all had Whataburger. I decided I needed a HUGE chocolate shake and fries. It was so good!
Slowly everyone left, it being after 11pm and all.  Kirby was still in the nursery. He was there for FOREVER. Literally, too. We were apart for 5 hours. I was getting to the point of being frantic and wanting my baby. The adorable bundle I had just delivered. I wanted to get to know him. I wanted to breastfeed him again. Once he returned we settled in for the night. My husband went to sleep and I was determined to breastfeed my son! I had been going to La Leche League meetings and knew a lot about breastfeeding. But, putting that into practice was more difficult than I had anticipated. I also was dealing with flat nipples which made it hard for Kirby to latch on. The night nurse I had was fabulous! She came in and helped me figure out how to use a nipple shield, how to get a good latch. She was the reason I was successful at breastfeeding. I owe it all to her!! I stayed up and fed Kirby off and on all night while my husband peacefully slept through it all. We had a productive night full of cluster feedings and cuddles and lots of love and adoring looks shared between Mother and son.
We were in the hospital a total of 3 days because of the tear I had sustained but were finally released to come home on Saturday. It was so good to come home!

I am so thankful and blessed to have had a wonderful natural hospital birth experience. I had the perfect hospital birth. Everyone was so respectful and admiring of our choices. No one gave us grief over our decisions. It was a truly beautiful experience. Bringing a baby into the world is hard work. But it is beautiful. It's what women's bodies were designed and made to do!

A Day Later

This is me. At 37 weeks pregnant. I am now one day later in my pregnancy with Chickpea than I was with Goober Pie. When will she come? Only time will tell... But I'm ready to meet her!

Shower of Blessings

Baby showers.
We've all been to them. They are fun. Games are played. Gifts are given. The Mama-to-be is honored, doted upon, and spoiled.
Today I was the Mama-to-be. The wonderfully sweet ladies of my church honored me with a baby shower for Chickpea. It was the best baby shower I've ever been to! When we walked in the door, the dining room was all set up with fine china, napkins folded like cloth diapers. The living room was swarming with busy helpers. There were decorations, pink and girly up. There was a clothesline with money pinned all around. The kitchen held ladies busy prepping food. Someone shouted "Guests are starting to arrive!" In the next hour couches were sat upon and visiting was happening. Then, a prayer and meal. Chickpea's first tea party. China tea sets at every place. A beautiful cabinet all arranged with tea. Fluffy pink punch. Food. Quiches, fruit, homemade, divine and beautifully decorated cupcakes. Chocolate covered strawberries. Veggie tray. YUM.
After a delicious meal, the games ensued. They were delightfully played, and fun was had by everyone! Then, on to presents. Each one, a blessing. Each one meeting a need. Each one specifically and specially picked out just for Chickpea.
What a blessed time with special people. Each woman, girl and child there was so appreciated. Each showing their love and support for my growing family.
I have never felt more special or blessed than I did today. It was so humbling! I can't wait to share this treasure, this blessing, with other Mama-to-be's in the future!
A baby shower.
Truly a blessing. Showered upon ME. =0)

Getting Ready

My poor blog.  My poor subscribers! Life has been so crazy that I've all but abandoned writing posts. By the time nap time rolls around I usually decide to nap too. Or when I don't have a toddler, aka Goober Pie crawling all over me trying to press buttons, it's bedtime, and I'm worn out and ready for sleep myself.  So here sits my blog, day after day, night after lonely night, waiting on me to come back.  Haha. Not that life is going to slow down or anything...at all.  I can barely find time to indulge in any of my hobbies or interests the way life is now.  I guess that's not completely true...I just don't MAKE the time. Maybe having 2 kids will teach me how to better use my "free" time? We'll see.

So I've been getting ready. Cleaning, organizing, washing, shopping, hanging, purging, nesting, nesting and nesting getting ready to welcome our next child into our lives! Chickpea, as SHE is so lovingly called. Her name is actually Rowan. Rowan Kaye, and she's due March 15. As in 3 weeks from tomorrow. But, if she's anything like Goober Pie, she might decide to come early. (He was 2.5 weeks early, which was fine by me. You'll know why one of these days when I finish his birth story...speaking of which, I need to get on that!)
I'm so excited to have a girl!! Having a boy has been SO FUN. Don't get me wrong. But there's just SO MUCH STUFF for girls! Cute, adorable, makes me want to be a baby again, sort of stuff. The clothes. Oh, the clothes. How fun are they? I'm in love with the stuff!
I can't wait to meet our little girl! What will she look like? Who will she look like? What color will her hair be? And yes, we actually know that she's going to have hair!
I've been under the care of a wonderful midwife group, the UNT Midwife Group and with them, we're planning (Lord Willing) on having a water birth. Which I am very excited about! I've always wanted a water birth, and am so thankful to have the opportunity to have one! We are planning on delivering at a local hospital. Their tubs are nice-we went and looked! Anyways, back to the knowing Chickpea has hair. I've been measuring behind by 2-3 weeks my whole pregnancy, so out of a let's get things checked out, we don't think there's anything wrong situation, I was sent to a Perinatologist to have a sonogram done to make sure Chickpea's growth was on track. It is. She's just fine. I'm just a carrier of small babies. But anyways, they could tell in the sonogram that she's going to have hair! Fun stuff!
At this point, as I type this, I'm hours from being 37 weeks pregnant, and I'm so ready to have this baby and meet my daughter! My hormones have been raging out of control my whole pregnancy, but man oh man, they have been SO BAD lately. My husband is so long suffering with me. I know I must be irritating him to no end, but he seems to take it in stride and often makes jokes about how cranky I am. A good man I have as I spouse, let me tell you!
Goober Pie is very aware that I'm pregnant. He's aware that I have a baby in my belly. "RoRo" as he so lovingly and sweetly calls his sister. I'm endlessly praying that he adjusts to being a big brother well. We are dealing with MAJOR attitude problems with him. His depraved, sinful nature is just rearing it's ugly head. Breaks my heart how he is acting. Discourages me. Frustrates me to no end. He is constantly NOT obeying a word I say, and he is dealing with his own anger and the only way he knows how to express it is through hitting. Which he does all day everyday. He hits me, the couch, the floor, the fridge, the dog, the cat. It doesn't matter, if it's within his range and his will is being thwarted, or sometimes even when it's not, he hits. We've been working with him and trying to be as consistent as we can in our disciplining. I've also been telling him and instructing him that when he gets mad and wants to hit, to pray. I've been saying simple prayers, and having him repeat what he can. It seems to help. Until five minutes later he hits again...
Pray for me, will you? And for our family as we make this transition into becoming a family of 4. Parents of 2. We need all the prayers and help we can get!

A Sleeping Babe...

I love it when Goober Pie is asleep and I can capture a picture of him. He looks so angelic, peaceful, relaxed. It makes my heart swell with love to see him passed out. No matter what position he's in or what he looks like.

He is my sleeping angel! (Look at that hair!)

I especially love it when I get a picture of all my guys sleeping. Goober Pie, Dh, and Our Chihuahua, Odo. Very priceless picture!

New Post Hiatus Explanation...

Hello dear friends!
I promise I'm still around! Life has been busy, and exhausting...The reason for this exhaustion comes in the form of my ever growing belly...

Chickpea and I at 6 weeks.

Chickpea and I at 8 weeks.

Chickpea and I at 10 weeks.

Chickpea and I at 14 weeks.

Yep, that's right, our second (full term) babe is on the way! And I have been so exhausted and a lot more sick this time around! It has not been fun. Thankfully, I have a lot of help. Chickpea's estimated due date is March 15, 2011. We are very excited! I personally can't wait to find out the gender!! Another boy would be so fun, but having a girl would be fabulous, too! Anyways, my growing belly is to be blamed for my lack of involvement in my blog. By the time Goober Pie is in bed, I am ready for bed too. Hopefully since I'm in the second trimester now I'll have more energy and can pay more attention to this here writing thing...

Breastfeeding A Dairy & Gluten Sensitive Babe

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about nursing in special circumstances. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st! 

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When I was younger, my Dr. told me that wheat and dairy are the two things most babies are sensitive to and have the hardest time digesting. That has always stuck with me. Little did I know that down the road it would be true for my son.

Around two weeks of age, Goober Pie started getting fussy. Especially in the mornings and afternoons. It was his pain cry. He was in pain. He was extremely gassy and slightly constipated. His tummy hurt. I knew I didn't want to keep giving him Gripe Water everyday (even though it wouldn't have hurt him), instead I wanted to fix the issue. And that issue was dairy. Since I was breastfeeding, every time I ate dairy, he got fussy. And I was able to rule it out as the culprit. So, grudgingly I went off dairy. I didn't eat a ton, but enough that it was a problem. We saw instant results. No more fussy, gassy baby! Sure, I missed cheese and yogurt, but having a happy baby with no digestive issues was so much more important to me!  Sometimes I'd forget not to eat dairy. It was a complete lifestyle change, but one that has been so worthwhile. Goober Pie and I have now been dairy free for over a year. And I love it. I'm not a big fan of anything dairy now. It causes me digestive problems and it just disgusts me to the point of nausea. And I have a happy babe who can enjoy his Mommy's Milk without getting gassy or constipated from dairy.

Around six months of life, Goober Pie developed a strange rash on his back. When we went for his six month checkup I asked the Dr. what it was. He informed me it was eczema. It wasn't bad, but it was bad enough to me to see it on his skin. Our pediatrician at the time suggested Hydrocortisone cream and an anti-itch medicine. I had both filled but had definite concerns about using them. I lean heavily towards being crunchy and against a lot of traditional medicines, so I knew I wanted to explore my options for treatment. I talked to a couple of friends, they both told me the Hydrocortisone would just clear the surface of the skin, but that the problem would still exist under the skin. They told me to try Coconut Oil and also Probiotics dissolved in water. I tried both. I tried various other lotions and potions and NOTHING was working. He was on an all natural laundry detergent. So it couldn't be an allergic reaction... And the eczema was spreading onto his arms and tummy. I had to do something. My Mother mentioned if I had tried going off of wheat. That it was the likely cause of my son's eczema. I said no, but that I was desperate and ready to try it. So I went off all things wheat. Within TWO days (NO JOKE!) Goober Pie's skin was almost completely clear!!! Wow. So he had a gluten intolerance too. That one has been a little more difficult to deal with. Thankfully, obtaining gluten free items is not near as hard as it used to be. And I gladly let me son's food intolerance's dictate what my diet needs to be. Especially since I'm still breastfeeding him. It's important that he gets the nourishment he needs from me without having any issues regarding his sensitivities. A lot of people don't understand what it's like to have food restrictions. So we have to be very careful and watch what we eat when we're not at home. But he's a happy, healthy 13 month old and I plan to continue to stay as far away from all things wheat and dairy. When he's old enough, if he chooses to eat those things, that will be fine with me! I'm just glad we figured out his sensitivities out in a timely manner. And I'm thankful that there are so many options for people with food intolerances!



 

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 Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

• Sylko @ Chaotic Mama—Breastfeeding Carnival: Special Circumstances
• Whitney @ According To Waddlebug: The (Un)Balancing Act of Motherhood—Breastfeeding a Dairy & Gluten Sensitive Babe
• Lexi @ Life As A Mommy—Nursing in Pain
• Guest Poster Angela @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl—Breastfeeding Twins: What I Wish I'd Known
• Natasha @ naturalurbanmama—Nursing in Special Circumstances: Preemie, Pregnancy and a Pair of Nurslings
• Heather @ The Bee in Your Bonnet—Whole Nine Months
• Timbra @ Bosoms & Babes—Special Circumstance: NICU Nurses and Nursing
• And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog today is Melissa Knighton—No Dairy, Eggs, Soy, Peanuts, or Tree Nuts